Abigail Hope Jones
by GabyGummyBear
Summary: A seriously angsty drabble on my part about Killian Jones and the second chance Emma gave him: Abigail Hope Jones. CS. I'm so sorry for the feels, idk what I was thinking.


Killian stood in the doorway, leaning and looking inside the darkened room with desperation. His gaze was fixed on the small breathing bundle in the midst of a beautiful crib. Her chest rising up and down rapidly, like a normal baby's would.

"ABBEY." That is what the letters spelled above her crib. Emma had chosen Abigail as the girl's name. He was not a fan of the name, but Emma had been in her last hours when she chose it. He would not have dared to dispute it.

"It means, 'father's joy.'" She had said softly to Killian. He did not argue with her then, not when she was like that. He remembered all-too-well, Emma's pained moans and her tears when she was about to slip from his fingers.

Something had gone wrong during the birth. Abigail had been delivered safely, but Emma had suffered in the process, and although the doctors tried, none of them could do anything. She had only lasted a day after their daughter was born.

Killian ran his hands through his hair, letting an exasperated sigh escape his lips and he turned, closing the door halfway as he did. He walked to the living room and sank on the couch defeated.

Killian was not alone; he had never been, since Emma had fallen in love with him. Her parents had welcomed him with doubt at first, but he knew they had grown to love him as a son. That's why Mary Margaret would come to drop off food, check on baby Abbey almost on the daily, and when Killian was at work with David, she would take care of her. And Killian appreciated it. He was so scared to lose Abbey, too, that he could hardly go near her. He did not know how to take care of a baby. Emma and Snow had taught him everything he needed to know, but he felt as if he would do it all backwards. What if he did something wrong and Abigail paid the price? He could never forgive himself. When he was alone, he did what he had to, but even then, he was petrified.

"Emma, lass, I needed you to do this," he whispered, his voice breaking. Abbey had choked on her bottle today, and if it hadn't been for David helping out, Killian would have probably killed her accidentally. What was he going to do? His skills as a 'father' were just inadequate. Killian breathed in sharply and held in a sorrowful sob. The pirate was not one to cry, but his heart was so heavy with grief and guilt, there was no other way to unload.

"What if she hates me?" Killian asked Emma, he was terrified at the thought that all he would have left of his precious love, Emma, would be ruined by him. Because Abigail was all that was left to him by the universe. If he lost this, he would no longer have a cause to live, and the second chance Emma had given him at life, would be wasted. Killian couldn't hold it in anymore. Heavy tears spilled from him eyes, and a couple of sobs chocked him.

Then he heard her cry. He had woken her up. Abigail never woke up in the middle of the night before, not since she had turned four months. Killian's heart sank, and he breathed in. He slowly stood up, wiping his tears with the long sleeve of his t-shirt, and he headed for her room. She wailed like she had been hurt, and fear crossed his expression.

With a careful hand, and two strong arms, Killian picked up the squirming baby, and 'shh'-d softly. Abigail became calmer by the second as she felt her father's warmth against her and recognized his face, even in the dark-lit room. As he held her with his left arm, Killian lifted his right hand and touched Abigail's face with careful, gentle fingers.

"What's wrong, lass?" He asked quietly, and Abigail quieted down to her normal noises, bobbing her head to look at his face, and then his hand. Her little hands flew up to catch his fingers, having a little bit of trouble grasping them at first, but finally latching on.

The love that overflowed from Killian was overwhelming. She looked at his hand and attempted to draw his fingers into her mouth. "You're hungry," He muttered, kissing her forehead. He looked at her smooth face, thin golden curls adorning it perfectly, and green eyes dashing back and forth. She looked like Emma so much, it hurt. His face softened more, as if it was even possible, and he let more tears slip from his eyes. Abigail 'coo'-ed.

He then remembered he had made Emma a promise. "I will never abandon her. She will be my life, and I will live for her, love."

Emma had smiled, and said, "I don't doubt that, not for one second."

Killian admired his daughter, so much like her mother, and said softly, "I meant that promise, my love." And in that moment, Killian knew he would be okay.


End file.
